Since I've been home, I have been trying to adjust. The adjustment has probably been one of the hardest things ever. I have come to appreciate the mantel I had when I was a missionary so much more, now that I don't have it. I realize now, what kind of protection you have as a missionary. It is hard having that taken away.
Now that I am home, I have had the task of finding my purpose. When you are a missionary, you have your purpose written in Preach My Gospel for you. You have your task set before you. You have a specific schedule set for you in a little white handbook. Now I'm not saying that missionary work was easy because of this, what I'm saying is I knew what my goal was. Now that I am home, my purpose is similar but not as focused. I have to find the other part of my purpose. I need to figure out where the Lord wants me. It is time for me to figure out what I want to do with my life. It is a whole lot harder than I anticipated.
As of now, my goal is to find a job. I have also been looking into going back to school to get my masters, but I'm not sure what to get it in. There are just so many different decisions to make. For now, I am just taking it one step at a time. That is all I can do. One of my favorite quotes is by President Hinckley. He said: "It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."
I know that whatever crossroad we may come in our lives, the Lord is right along side us helping us. I know that I have felt his help with trying to find my purpose a lot. I know that I will find my purpose. I know that He will not forsake me through this trial. I know that this trail will turn out to be my biggest blessing. It's just like it says in the song "What I Need" from Forgotten Carols, "All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of, everything I've hoped, and all the things I prayed for couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given. I've been given what I need." I know that whatever happens, it will be what I need, not necessarily what I want. I am grateful for this!
